Last year, when he went with the Men's Ministry from church, I loaded him up with a few bags of warm clothes and a couple of blankets. When he got back, he told me how quickly those things were scooped up and so he asked me to gather a few more things for this trip. I nearly forgot.
So anyway, I didn't know what else I could give, as I had just 2 weeks prior shed all of my unwanted goods at the Salvation Army. The only thing that came to mind was my *warm and puffy* jacket. I went to the garage to retrieve it to hand over to the cause. But I hesitated. I looked over the coat, noticed how great of condition it was in, how it looked nearly new, and even had a pair of matching gloves in the pocket. I hardly ever wear it, it's almost *too* puffy and hot in the Fall months, but it's one of those things that you keep around, "just in case". So I set it aside and set my sights on a bag of snow/winter things I had gathered together over the years. Whenever I would see a sale on gloves or hats, I'd buy 'em. Waste of money, really. We never go out to the snow or even like to be outdoors when it's cold, but I couldn't pass up a bargain.
"For the poor will never cease from the land;
therefore I command you, saying,
'You shall open your hand wide to your brother,
to your poor and your needy, in your land..." Deut 15:11
therefore I command you, saying,
'You shall open your hand wide to your brother,
to your poor and your needy, in your land..." Deut 15:11
I hunted and pecked thru that bag and found a couple of mis-matched mittens and knit gloves at the bottom. In my heart I figured "PPfft...these Homeless people would probably be glad to get even those." There were beanies and scarves too, but I didn't want to give those away, as they were hand made and also like new. Well you know.. I wear them *so* much in this dry California weather >>insert sarcasim here<<.
Last year B told me about how there were little kids waiting patiently for him to let them look in the box of discarded clothing for something of use to them. It broke his heart. He thought about how a couple of those kids were about our boy's age and splattering around in puddles as their mom waited in line for food. wet. in the winter.
Then I noticed next to the bag were M's little shoes. Oh how I loved his little feet in those Ralph Lauren suede deck shoes! He hasn't worn them in over a year, I honestly don't know why I even still have them, but I figured I'd toss 'em into the pile of giveaways as well. But what hit me, in a split second, as I was standing in my illuminated garage, with the laundry whirling behind me in a warm dryer looking at all the excess I just bought at Target, that these people have NOTHING. I'm here holding onto a warm jacket tonight, afraid to give it up because *what if* I *might* need it someday, while I'm wearing a warm sweatshirt and going to go to sleep in a warm house, and there is someone else out there that is cold.
So then, what on Earth made me think it was ok just to give my scraps? To hand over my unwanted/mismatched things as if I am giving my all and doing some big favor to humanity? I am (obviously) well fed, I am warm, I have more than one blanket on my bed, and I have *enough* to have crap in my garage that I only wear a couple of times a year (uh, yeah, that's why it still looks brand new!)
How sad.
I mean, really, how sad.
I still don't feel like I have that much to give. But I'll tell you what... I'm putting the dang jacket in the box. And I think even the new shoes I just bought at Target. And the brand new gloves and hand made scarves. I'll hand over my extra blankets and those little shoes.
Thank you God for giving me gentle reminders of YOUR heart. And please make sure the person that receives these things feels your love for them, Jehovah Jireh.
